We’ll Go No More A-Roving

Post 80 of 80. Woolwich Arsenal (Square E9 on the Tube map), Mornington Crescent (B5)

Only one and a half stations today, but this is no cut-down post. There’s fun and games to the end: The Wee Professor gives you the full statistics (well, obviously not the full statistics – that would take far too long) of this absurd and pointless quest, The Inner Curmudgeon has agreed to release what he’s calling ‘the headlines’ of The Seven Habits Of Highly Successful Curmudgeons and the winners of The TubeforLOLs’ Awards are announced.   Continue reading

Murkier Mistical Tour / Curmudgeons Ahoy! (79/80)

Post 79 of 80. Wednesday 11 December (11/12/13) – Woodgrange Park (Square C9 on the Tube map), Wood Green (A6), Wood Lane (D3), Woodside Park (C9)

I get to Forest Hill station almost two hours later than I’d planned earlier this morning. I catch the 10.49 a.m. Overground northwards. There are a number of silver linings – the heavy murky blanket of mist is lifting, the sun is coming through, the air is fresh, the Albion Millennium Green looks splendid – all in all, the makings of a perfect winter’s day. Plus this is the last consecutively-numbered day now for ninety years – how mystical-mathematical is that!

Mist lifting over the Albion Millennium Green. 'Labyrinth' by Maria Strutz in the foreground.

Mist lifting over the Albion Millennium Green. ‘Labyrinth’ by Maria Strutz in the foreground.

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No Direction Home (78/80)

Post 78 of 80. Wednesday 4 December – Willesden Junction (Square B3 on the Tube map), Wimbledon (F3), Wimbledon Park (E3), Woodford (A8)

You would have thought, after all the crazy stuff that TubeforLOLs has thrown at me, that it would be plain sailing from now on in. I should be so lucky! The latest upsets are courtesy of The Inner Curmudgeon: he’s taken to instructing me on writing. Your jokes are getting out of hand, he cudgels. Jokes should be like salt on roast meat – a pinch to bring out the savour, not scattered like hundreds and thousands over a Gregg’s cup-cake.

Hmm! At least I’ve got my friend, Nick, accompanying me on this post. He’ll provide the necessary uplifting corrective to The IC. Nick gives a little cough. Sandy, he says gently, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about your photographic skills …   Continue reading

They Shoot Sofas, Don’t They? (77/80)

Post 77 of 80. Thursday 28 November  – West Silvertown (Square D9 on the Tube map), Whitechapel (C7), White City (C3), Willesden Green (B4)

Ignoring the final journey, which will be a purely processional affair to Mornington Crescent (via Woolwich Arsenal) for the The LOL-OSCARS Gala Awards Evening, this is the third last trek of this legendary absurd quest. Perhaps, despite the uniform-grey day, I’m touched a little by gate-fever? Perhaps I have premonitions that there could be late entries to the short-lists for the LOL-OSCAR categories of Snarliest Snarl-Up, Mankiest Manor, Gob-Smacker Neighbourhoods, The Golden Panini Award for most Lolastic Lunch-Stop and – certainly – for Unexpected Encounters? A glance at the Tube map confirms that Tedious Tubing will not feature today.   Continue reading

My Life As A Chameleon (76/80)

Post 76 of 80. Friday 22 November  – West India Quay (Square D7 on the Tube map), West Kensington (D3), Westminster (D4), West Ruislip (A1)

I’ve been asked many times, Why do you do no research beforehand about the Tube stations and places you’re about to visit? Surely that’s a recipe for disaster or, at least, for missing what is important, unusual, beautiful about those places? My answer is simple – since importance, rarity and beauty are in the eyes of the beholder, I don’t want to see those places through the eyes of others. As far as is possible, I want to see them afresh, new, as though this was the very first time human eyes had been clapped upon them. And, as much as possible, I wish to leave whatever happens to chance. But how much are seeing afresh and random happenings possible?   Continue reading

This Is The Modern World (75/80)

Post 75 of 80. Tuesday 19 November  – Westferry (Square D7 on the Tube map), West Finchley (A5), West Ham (C8), West Hampstead (B4), West Harrow (B2)

I step out of Gingerbread Cottage early and breakfast-less for today’s assault on London. By Jove, it’s cold! That wind is Arktik! Rounding the corner into Sydenham Park Road (there’s no Sydenham Park, by the way) I come across a traffic jam in Dartmouth Road heading towards the South Circular: it’s a supersnarlyhootilisticexpleetayalatrocious snarl-up! Less of the outrageously long words, snarls The Inner Curmudgeon. Otherwise we’ll never get through this post. Feeling something like the Israelites must have done when crossing the Red Sea, I shoulder my way past the boils and whirls malarking on the pavement on their way to skool.   Continue reading

Happy Talk (74/80)

Post 74 of 80. Wednesday 13 November  – Westbourne Park (Square C3 on the Tube map), West Brompton (D3), West Croydon (F6)

I’m viewing today as an amiable chunter around the Tube network, a day-trip to the seaside or country, if you like, except that I’ll gain not so much as a faraway glimpse of either the briny breakers or the beginning of the middle of nowhere. I’m tempted to take my AA Book Of The Seaside (First Edition, 1972) with me. As Don Quixote found, feasting on tales of chivalry is as good as, if not better than, doing the actual chivalry-business itself. But first I am using the excuse of Westbourne Park to visit nearby Golborne Road, one of my favourite London haunts. It gets better …   Continue reading