Tag Archives: The Metro

Murkier Mistical Tour / Curmudgeons Ahoy! (79/80)

Post 79 of 80. Wednesday 11 December (11/12/13) – Woodgrange Park (Square C9 on the Tube map), Wood Green (A6), Wood Lane (D3), Woodside Park (C9)

I get to Forest Hill station almost two hours later than I’d planned earlier this morning. I catch the 10.49 a.m. Overground northwards. There are a number of silver linings – the heavy murky blanket of mist is lifting, the sun is coming through, the air is fresh, the Albion Millennium Green looks splendid – all in all, the makings of a perfect winter’s day. Plus this is the last consecutively-numbered day now for ninety years – how mystical-mathematical is that!

Mist lifting over the Albion Millennium Green. 'Labyrinth' by Maria Strutz in the foreground.

Mist lifting over the Albion Millennium Green. ‘Labyrinth’ by Maria Strutz in the foreground.

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No Direction Home (78/80)

Post 78 of 80. Wednesday 4 December – Willesden Junction (Square B3 on the Tube map), Wimbledon (F3), Wimbledon Park (E3), Woodford (A8)

You would have thought, after all the crazy stuff that TubeforLOLs has thrown at me, that it would be plain sailing from now on in. I should be so lucky! The latest upsets are courtesy of The Inner Curmudgeon: he’s taken to instructing me on writing. Your jokes are getting out of hand, he cudgels. Jokes should be like salt on roast meat – a pinch to bring out the savour, not scattered like hundreds and thousands over a Gregg’s cup-cake.

Hmm! At least I’ve got my friend, Nick, accompanying me on this post. He’ll provide the necessary uplifting corrective to The IC. Nick gives a little cough. Sandy, he says gently, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about your photographic skills …   Continue reading

This Is The Modern World (75/80)

Post 75 of 80. Tuesday 19 November  – Westferry (Square D7 on the Tube map), West Finchley (A5), West Ham (C8), West Hampstead (B4), West Harrow (B2)

I step out of Gingerbread Cottage early and breakfast-less for today’s assault on London. By Jove, it’s cold! That wind is Arktik! Rounding the corner into Sydenham Park Road (there’s no Sydenham Park, by the way) I come across a traffic jam in Dartmouth Road heading towards the South Circular: it’s a supersnarlyhootilisticexpleetayalatrocious snarl-up! Less of the outrageously long words, snarls The Inner Curmudgeon. Otherwise we’ll never get through this post. Feeling something like the Israelites must have done when crossing the Red Sea, I shoulder my way past the boils and whirls malarking on the pavement on their way to skool.   Continue reading

Happy Talk (74/80)

Post 74 of 80. Wednesday 13 November  – Westbourne Park (Square C3 on the Tube map), West Brompton (D3), West Croydon (F6)

I’m viewing today as an amiable chunter around the Tube network, a day-trip to the seaside or country, if you like, except that I’ll gain not so much as a faraway glimpse of either the briny breakers or the beginning of the middle of nowhere. I’m tempted to take my AA Book Of The Seaside (First Edition, 1972) with me. As Don Quixote found, feasting on tales of chivalry is as good as, if not better than, doing the actual chivalry-business itself. But first I am using the excuse of Westbourne Park to visit nearby Golborne Road, one of my favourite London haunts. It gets better …   Continue reading

Five Views Of Shangri-La (Shaddap you face!) (73/80)

Post 73 of 80. Thursday 7 November  – Watford High Street (Square A3 on the Tube map), Watford Junction (A3), Wembley Central (B3), Wembley Park (B3), West Acton (C2)

The Inner Curmudgeon and The Wee Professor have kept me up half the night with their incessant bickering over The TubeforLOLs Awards – The LOL-OSCARS. [Click on AWARDS page for details] ‘Bickering’ is the wrong word: The IC has been shouting and throwing pots and pans at the furniture, The WP has kept an impenetrable – and extremely annoying – reserve. And we haven’t even got to the LOL-OSCARS short-lists yet; they’re arguing over the categories – The IC insists on ‘half-dozen, max!’, The WP’s list stretches to more than forty …

Ah! Shaddap you face! snarls The IC at me, We-a kissed and made-a up, so Getta on witha you post. (Hey!)

Huh?! The IC doing references to Popular Culture!   Continue reading

Tilting At Windmills (65/80)

Monday 30 September  – Stockwell (Square F5 on the Tube map), Stonebridge Park (B3), Stratford (B8), Stratford High Street (C8), Stratford International (B8)

We humans often project our inner feelings and passions onto the outside world believing what we see to be inherent in the world rather than merely shadow-plays of our own making. But, do I sense a certain weariness out there amongst you, Dear Readers, at the apparently never-ending tedium and foolishness of TubeforLOLs? Have no fear! Take heart! We are on the home stretch and the pointlessness you are experiencing is but a pale reflection –

Oh! Put at stopper in it! snarls The Inner Curmudgeon. Our apologies, Dear Readers – he continues – but Mr Craig is reading Don Quixote. The Wee Prof and I will try to cut short his waffling.   Continue reading

Here Be No Dragons! (64/80)

Friday 27 September  – South Woodford (Square A8 on the Tube map), Stamford Brook (D2), Stanmore (A3), Star Lane (C8), Stepney Green (C7)

I think I may have got it wrong last post when I said that travel broadens the mind. That was a wild over-generalisation. Sometimes travel bores. Sometimes it’s dreary. Sometimes it is merely a particularly wearisome version of trainspotting. Epiphanies, as at South Wimbledon, are like plums in a Tesco Value Plum Pudding – infrequent and, as you crunch on a shard of unremoved plum-stone, likely to break your teeth. But, apart from extra dental fees, there isn’t even any real danger, any derring-do, any chest-thumping Tarzan stuff to enliven the TubeforLOLs itinerary. Still … I’m pretty sure I haven’t been to any of today’s stations before. That would be something: a TubeforLOLs day visiting chunks of terra incognita scattered wildly across London! Perhaps, even, slaying dragons!

You’re fooling yourself Craig, sneers The Inner Curmudgeon. You? A slayer of dragons! Pooff! The gust of his laughter almost knocks me sideways.   Continue reading